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In “Boy Meets Girl,” Harris denounces abusive and manipulative fathers as “unbiblical.” He genuinely sees fathers as loving, wise, and earnestly wanting the best for their children.Think about it charitably: if one would ask dad for help with homework, selecting colleges, or getting a job, then why wouldn’t one seek advice in romantic relationships?
Harris’s writings provides a robust framework for why dating is the problem and courtship the solution.
By seeking her father’s permission to court, a man honors his role and elicits his wisdom.
Fathers have the ability to end relationship before it begins. In these cases, Harris advises men “don’t undermine his leadership—honor it even if it means waiting longer or doing things differently than you had planned.” Families also provide oversight thought the courtship.
Harris emphasizes that the problem of dating is not solved by “dating right.” In “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” Harris reiterates that dating itself is “an approach to relationships that wants to go in a different direction than the one God has for us.” Nor can Christians redeem the process: “the boyfriend/girlfriend exclusiveness of the dating system is based on a self-seeking, pleasure-seeking attitude toward relationships,” Harris warns in “Dating Problems.” Far from trying to rescue dating from our human selfishness, Harris advocates courtship as promoting the right attitude and approach to relationships.
In Harris’s view, the arc of a godly romantic relationship progresses from friendship, to courtship, then engagement, and, finally, marriage.