Dating a younger black man
Parties, rock concerts, nightclubs—I dated the way I should have when I was younger: for fun, without an eye toward marriage. During that time, when I was in my late 30s, I made an important sociological discovery: Men over 40 are profoundly different from those under 35, and it's not just their hairlines.As much as we're loath to admit it, we base most of our expectations about a relationship on the one we observed, for better or worse, growing up at home.While years of relationships may teach a man to be a better partner, there's also the danger that he's learned to view women as gold-digging, untrustworthy sluts, parasitic leeches, or nagging harpies. Younger men carry far less of this bitter emotional baggage.(Maybe he's carrying a grudge about one woman who done him wrong, but it's probably his mother.) They see women as wonderful, exotic creatures with many treasures to offer.The vast majority of couples we knew simply lived together.The serially cohabiting older man sees dodging the bullet of matrimony as a badge of honor.
A guy who has spent the past 20 years in a well-insulated rut will make you tell his astounded buddies about the time you were in "a whaddya call it? " You may have the feeling that your relationship now qualifies as his official Walk on the Wild Side.His condemnation of marriage as a bourgeois convention makes him more of a tired, sad cliché than the ones he's using to describe matrimony.Since I've been with Bronson, we've averaged three weddings a year.An empty medicine cabinet can actually be a beautiful thing.An older man, you may point out, has learned much from life and benefited from years of accumulated experience.