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Relationships are not (anymore, at least) a collectivist act.
They really come down to two individuals doing business in ways that we will never be privy to.
They go to be bed with someone who does, or doesn't, want children.
We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love.
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy.
He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman.
My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.
Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.